W I T H O U T  L O V E
by R4D1OxR4G3
Summary: There's no pain, because I'm dead. Peeta is dead. I wonder if I can come back from the grave, to her. Katniss Everdeen.  One-shot.


This little shard of glimmer glass, slipping in and out between my fingers, is me. Broken. So very fragile, if I drop it I fear it may break. I look at her, blank-eyed, with skin as pale as clouds, falling into oblivion. The flames flicker in the fireplace, crackling in joy, but she is shivering. And when she looks at me, tilting her head, a nervous tremor shakes my hands. So forcefully, the glass slits a gash in my palm. A smile creeps along my lips, and I know this is real. A short gasp escapes her lips, and she is immediately on me. She moves so slowly, it seems almost unrealistic. But I know she's real, because the burning sensation called pain reaches me. I must admit, it feels good. We are hungry.

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

When she finally reaches me, she freezes. Her finger touches the trickling blood, swirling it around a 'round. So, so beautiful. "Peeta . . ." she sighs, but I can't reply. The sweet, slight flawed pain, it's too good. She takes my hand, I lead her out of the room, the blood welting between her touch, the flames still licking at the coal in the fireplace. Up, up, up with stairs we go, and then the blinding white of the bathroom is in sight. Water splashes in the tub as it fills, but we only stare in each other's eyes. We are hurting.

_**You're sick of feeling numb**_

_**You're not the only one**_

_**I'll take you by the hand**_

_**And I'll show you a world that you can understand**_

_**This life is filled with hurt**_

_**When happiness doesn't work**_

_**Trust me and take my hand**_

_**When the lights go out you will understand**_

We stand, so very still, until the bath reaches its limits. It overflows as we step in, our boots thumping against the plastic. Water spills continuously, until we are both sitting, staring blankly. Our clothes soak to our skin, and our hair plasters to our scalps. She dunks her head a few times, but she does not speak. We don't need to; the silence is booming enough. The waters pale pink, my hand still pulsing thin blood. Her white tank dyes, while my hair goes pinkie a bit, but it doesn't matter, because this is our blood. This is her tears, my crimson, and our sorrow. We are so very empty.

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

She covers her ears; she screams curses that only he and I can understand. The Seam boy and me. And when she stops, it's my turn to refresh. I scream until my throat goes raw, and my mouth forces closed. Then we stare again. She flicks small droplets of wet, playing in her own little world, forgetting that I'm here. Angry, I kick her as hard as the water allows. "You ass!" she screams. "Stop forgetting about me!" I roar back. We throw are hands in each other's faces, swearing, pointing fingers, it's not needed. But we have to. We are angry.

_**Anger and agony**_

_**Are better than misery**_

_**Trust me I've got a plan**_

_**When the lights go off you will understand**_

And then, there is silence. Her eyes are fixed on the tiled wall, her arms folded neatly against her breasts. The water is cold. My eyes are sore, my throat burns, but it all feels so good. I can't let it go. This is the part where the memories start. I remember my family, the Baker's, my friends, Delly Cartwright, who's still living in Thirteen. She's got a husband now, she's expecting a baby. She's only 19, but I guess it helped her move on, something we cannot do. We are helpless.

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing**_

_**Rather feel pain**_

She yanks out the plug. The water drains away, like life, until it is no more. We climb out, slipping and sliding as we go. Dripping wet, we sigh simultaneously. Then we stride out, the carpet going sodden, down, down, and down the stairs and back to the fire. We sit in front of the building flames, singing to each other. Her voice is so pretty. We are lonely.

_**I know (I know I know I know I know)**_

_**That you're wounded**_

_**You know (You know you know you know you know)**_

_**That I'm here to save you**_

_**You know (You know you know you know you know)**_

_**I'm always here for you**_

_**I know (I know I know I know I know)**_

_**That you'll thank me later**_

She drifts into a doze, and I decide to leave her. I kiss her cheek, and remove myself from the heat. Back into the cold of the blizzard, this chills me to the bone, and into my house. The air is musty, and I hate it here. I long for my family, my friends, my life. But the Capitol took it away from me. I had to reconstruct another one, without them. I am dead.

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Pain, without love**_

_**Pain, I can't get enough**_

_**Pain, I like it rough**_

_**'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Rather feel pain than nothing at all**_

_**Rather feel pain.**_

There's no pain, because I'm dead. Peeta is dead. I wonder if I can come back from the grave, to her. Katniss Everdeen.

* * *

><p><strong>Okey Dokey, hope you liked it.<strong>

**I'm pretty pleased. **

**I'm hungry, feed me reviews xD !**


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